Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
just found out that she named her cat after me.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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