My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Edward fifth and chaser hands
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Randomize