Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
