My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
