i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
ok first of all what the fuck
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
