matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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