Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
