i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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