I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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