Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
