My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
