Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
