my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
