Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
