I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
