did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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