bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
don't judge my taste in strippers
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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