i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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