honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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