My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
