Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
