he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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