we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
