I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
