i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
