come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
