I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
