I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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