I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
