You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
