wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
