the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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