The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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