I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
