i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
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