More tranny stories later!
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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