don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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