I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
