the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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