I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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