Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just found puke in my bra..
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
