So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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