With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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