You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
