Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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