"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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