when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
