How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
