I look better un-naked...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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