Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
