he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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