i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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