I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
