..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
