my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I see more hoeing in ur future
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