Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Please, let me fuck your mom
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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