It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
