Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
