I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize