I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
