sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
