i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
