I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
