I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
