its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize