Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
